If you have ever had a discussion with me, or read anything that I’ve written about parenting, you know that I am insistent upon “parenting with the end result in mind.” By this I simply mean, build the relationship that you want. I say this because parents shouldn’t rationally expect to have a relationship with their children that they didn’t build. I put the initial responsibility on parents because building this relationship begins when our children are babies, so of course children can’t be held responsible for building it. Later, as children mature and become responsible for their actions, if they decide to destroy the foundational relationship we built, they’re responsible for that. But throughout their childhoods, the responsibility lies firmly with us, to build and cultivate the type of relationship that we would like to have with our children through childhood and beyond. So, if you envision the infant sitting on your lap feeling comfortable enough with you as a teenager to seek your advice on sex, drugs, and peer pressure, there are some things you’ll have to do to cultivate that. Likewise, if you envision yourself as a parent of adult children who still feels vital and included in their lives, there are things you must consider when your children are young to build that.
Parenting with the end result in mind
Parenting with the end result in mind
Parenting with the end result in mind
If you have ever had a discussion with me, or read anything that I’ve written about parenting, you know that I am insistent upon “parenting with the end result in mind.” By this I simply mean, build the relationship that you want. I say this because parents shouldn’t rationally expect to have a relationship with their children that they didn’t build. I put the initial responsibility on parents because building this relationship begins when our children are babies, so of course children can’t be held responsible for building it. Later, as children mature and become responsible for their actions, if they decide to destroy the foundational relationship we built, they’re responsible for that. But throughout their childhoods, the responsibility lies firmly with us, to build and cultivate the type of relationship that we would like to have with our children through childhood and beyond. So, if you envision the infant sitting on your lap feeling comfortable enough with you as a teenager to seek your advice on sex, drugs, and peer pressure, there are some things you’ll have to do to cultivate that. Likewise, if you envision yourself as a parent of adult children who still feels vital and included in their lives, there are things you must consider when your children are young to build that.